What does it mean to live life on purpose?
Is it as simple as ‘finding your life purpose’ as it relates to your work and what you do in the world?
Or is there more to living on purpose?
For me, there’s so much more than knowing what my life’s work is.
Living life on purpose means getting out of default mode.
Living by default leads inevitably to Thoreau’s ‘life of quiet desperation.’
In my personal story, I passed through many gates of initiation, very early in my life, mostly between the ages of 9-18. Parental abandonment, violent alcoholism, physical abuse, suicide, repeated sexual assault, and quite by accident, I discovered I was adopted. Each of these is a story and a cause unto itself.
The bottom line, however, is that although I was not the author of my early life, I am definitely the author of my current life. And so are you.
I believe in living in joy independent of circumstances. Refusing to have anything less than fulfillment, in spite of – or because of – our pain and struggles. This is the Hero’s Journey.
Now, this doesn’t mean what you might think. It doesn’t mean living however you like and damn whoever gets in the way. No. It means uncovering and then aligning purposefully with your deepest core values, every moment of every day, and letting all the excuses go. Standing naked on the stage of your life.
At 28, I found myself in a hall of mirrors of self-destructive behaviors, cutting myself, addicted to meth amphetamine, destitute, both spiritually and physically, in a psychotic breakdown and close to death. This is the playing field upon which the clarion call came.
Pulling myself out of that was the hardest thing I had ever done up to that point in my life. I had no idea even how to start.
In a singular moment, alone and afraid, my consciousness exploded into a flash of bright light and as if from a great distance, I saw the devastation of my life. I saw, too, that I had the power to rewrite the story. This was a compelling vision. The great moment of turning.
It turns out that having a compelling vision is a golden key in getting from where you are to where you want to be. It is the key to making lasting changes in life. The vision I was graced with that day set me on fire.
Up to this point, I had not been living my life purposefully. I had been riding the wave of conditioning and trauma- based life decisions. Indeed, living a life of quiet desparation. But this moment would change all that… I had a compelling vision of a life I knew was not worthy of me. I was filled with despair and shame at the state my precious life had devolved to.
Intuitvely, I knew that I had to consciously, purposefully MOVE MYSELF out of the patterns, habits, and tendencies that had led me to this point. I had to break every habit of mind that had contributed to the state I was in. And it wasn’t about therapy or having someone else make a plan for me. It was that moment when I had to make a decision – alone – and follow through or die miserable and defeated.
It was more than a decade of crawling out from under the rubble. With 1,001 course corrections adjusting again and again, continuously weeding out self-destructive tendencies and patterns as I faced down my inner demons.
The vision that brought me to that moment of change was of what I didn’t want. As I began to clear the debris, a new vision was coming into focus. I was determined not to go down. Determined to have love, have joy, create a life, and become a woman, that I would deeply love and be proud of.
Of course, the path was strewn with mistakes. But many guides and angels came to my side to support my decision to live and the more effort I put forth the return was 100,000 fold.
The years went by as I slowly regained my footing. I met & married my beloved life-partner. We made a family. I returned to the call of music becoming the cantorial soloist at my synagogue; I made and released my first album in 2016, winning album of the year in 2017 on the One World Music Radio platform. I now have two albums and another is on the way for 2019.
Fulfilling my own dreams is not enough, however.
I now know the way. I know how to get from confusion to clarity; I know how to get from fear to freedom; I know how to get from self-loathing to self-love. I carry that flag.
This is what inspired me to create Your Life On Purpose. I know what its like to face deep, dark, personal trauma. My healing journey, education, and professional practice have sharpened my ability to be a compassionate, empathetic champion of all of my clients family and friends, no matter their personal or professional challenges. My work comes with my deep commitment to the most empowered and elevated version of all those with whom I am in contact.
My story is not unique in its theme of rising from the ashes. Every one of us enters the stage of our lives with conditions and circumstances that challenge us to rise up and claim our greatness. In my story, I pushed through tremendous early traumas to step into and claim a life I love. And I want to join you in your pursuit of greatness, through the power of your compelling vision and your intuitive knowing of how to get there.
Hello Kimberly 🙂
Truly, I am still shocked from what I’ve just read. I only heard your music few days ago, and from the first tune it was a feeling of some connection. But I didn’t except this!
Maybe I’m reacting on impulse, but your “life story” pushes me to tell you about myself a bit. It would be a long writing so, I copied an email to my friend Frederick, >So, here we are, at last I’ve got the guts to email you…sleepless night helped a bit 🙂
Well, many things had happened this year,..so where do I start?.. OK, close to my heart things first. My mother…that was a Big shock to me… And I had this voices in my head…yours including, “I should go and see her.” But for many reasons I didn’t… and when the news arrived I was sick to the bones, for many many days… She was born in Lublin, south of Poland, but in 1944 her family escaping the German’s settled in Gdansk, the first freed city by Russian-Pols army.. She got pregnant to a Pol from Warsaw, but they didn’t married because he didn’t want to.. Her family, especially my grandpa didn’t approved, and they kicked her out…you know, “single pregnant woman!” they were so stupidly religious. My mother went to search for him, and ended up at his sister place in Otwock, near Warsaw. That’s were I was born, on the hills of Otwock 🙂 After 3 years, her family took her back and arranged her wedding. My stepfather was a “horrible man” … He will come home drunk, pissing under our Christmas tree…and throwing it outside. At night, me and my stepbrother Paul will steal outside to get those sweet decorations back from the tree… That’s how I remember him. And after a second hitting, the social moved me away to that special place for children… I was 4 at that time. She visited me very often, bringing some sweets and whatever she could afford… She was a beautiful mother, dear Frederick.. She had suffered a lot, having 3 more children’s with that b….d! When I was 16, after finishing my primary school, I had joined back my mother’s place. She was divorced, thanks to a family court of law, and he was nowhere near.. She brought up her kids on her own, they were younger than me and I went to work to help her out. Dear Frederick, although I didn’t seen her from 1988, I did make contact and spoke to her recently a lot… But, I… I did not go to her funeral…and It is making me sick… I couldn’t go abroad. There were reasons that I couldn’t, but I’ll tell you in my next email. Because right now I feel very sad and can’t talk anymore…
Well, dear Kimberly, there’s a lot more to tell from my life, but it will be a trilogy 😉 too long to put over here. Your story moved me deeply. I can relate to mostly everything:( that happened to you. The main difference I can see is today, for I am still in the middle of nowhere…
Best of luck with your musi! I love it 🙂
Dear Peter. I’m so sorry that your comments at first didn’t show up here and that I didn’t get the notice. I think I have fixed the problem – AND I found your entry!
Thank you so very much for sharing and for your transparency.
I sense the depth of feeling here.
Keep coming back to check out the articles I will post as they may be of some support to you as you navigate the waters of life, my friend.
Many bright blessings to you, Peter.
(((Hugs, dear Kimberly))) Those hugs are deep from my heart. Thank you for your PM on FB as well 🌷🙏
I wasn’t active recently, it was just last Sunday that I got your PM and then…all the unexpected stories from your posted shares over there. I believe you are stronger than many of us, but I’ll pray – that’s for sure.
Sending warm greetings, blessed be your days ahead.
And yes…your smile… very beautiful smile indeed! 💕🍃 ~Peter
Thanks Kimberly, it works, I’m deeply touched.